Wednesday, 29 August 2012

A fading light, a blurry sight.
They lied.

I saw no white light,
said to myself that they weren't right.

I tried to scream for help,
but couldn't muster a yelp.

As the world faded before me,
I only wished that he could heard me.

Helplessness was all I could feel,
powerless from head to my heel,
only wishing that this wasn't real.

But alas, it...

 ---  
 
The author tries to establish the loneliness and hopelessness of being a car accident victim. The author hoped that she could enjoy life for another day with her boyfriend, but is unfortunately not able to do so. The author also laments on the brevity of life, hoping to tell others to appreciate time, especially with their loved ones. The author expresses deep regret for not living life to the fullest, not appreciating the gift of life itself, realizing it only a moment too late. The author fails to finish the poem, as the author does not survive the car accident.

---

No disrespect intended.

Saturday, 21 July 2012

A tight grip.

Maybe. 


Maybe I'm holding on too tight. 


Maybe I'm hurting both me and him.

My shoulder screams in agony. I can feel his sweaty palm slowly sliding away from my grip. I try to hold on, try to squeeze and pull with all my strength. But it's hopeless. I see it in his eyes. He has lost the will to struggle. He is contend to let go. My lips are trembling, and I feel like screaming. But I can't find my voice.

----

Maybe we're trying, trying too hard. Maybe we're torn apart. - Click Five.

Thursday, 14 June 2012

leap of faith

I took a deep breath. It wasn't like it was something I hadn't done before. But yet, there was something that gripped my heart with fear. I had no clue what it was. But I looked ahead of me, and decided that the fear wasn't worth it. I took a step forward, and took a good look around. This wasn't a sight unfamiliar to myself. But it still sent a shiver up my spine.

I felt very uneasy. But I decided to do it anyway. So I took another step forward. And another. And yet another, careful to not fall off the narrow board I was walking on. About ten steps later, I reached the end. I looked down. This was it. I readied myself, took a big step to launch me into the air, and then prepped myself to dive in.

To dive in back to the sea of emotions that I once swam about it. To rediscover what it was like to feel angry, to feel sad, to feel disappointment, to tear up. To also know what real joy is, to discover satisfaction, and to truly live life once again.


Friday, 23 March 2012

edison


The light bulb stood alone in the darkness. He connected a single battery cell to the ends of the loose wires that were linked to the bulb. It started to glow, albeit a dim light. Then he had an idea. He took another battery cell and connected that to the bulb too. It grew brighter. And so he went on a frenzy. One after another, the bulb grew brighter and brighter. And then it fused. There was just too many batteries connected to it. The bulb returned to its initial state of darkness, with only a faint orange light still visible on its filament.

---

I suppose some introverts are like that. They need someone to empower them. To help them connect to the world. And then the more people they know, the more empowered they feel/are. And that’s when you stop seeing them as the introvert self they once were. And then it reaches the threshold level whereby there are just too many people. And then, the introvert once again shrinks back to their original self. Wanting and seeking solitude.

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

1 mile - 1.6km


I was always the curious one. One to not accept things as they are presented, but to challenge the status quo. To accept facts as fiction till proven otherwise.
And when they told me that if anyone was to depart from the 10,000 mile radius of the Lotus of Life in the centre of the city, they would die. I made up my mind on the spot to test it out. So for a good number of years, I plotted in the dark how I would test it out. I’d go through the route a good thousand times as I lay in bed. Every step, every turn - it’d bugged me every single night. But tomorrow was different. Tomorrow, was THE day.

I could barely sleep the whole night. As soon as the sun hit the horizon, I took my rug sack and heading out to my best friend’s crib. He was just as adventurous as I, always taking things to the next level. But this wasn’t the next level. This was a first time gamer going against the final boss.
But nothing was going to stop us now.

So we walked.
And walked. 
And walked some more.

Our straw shoes wore out. The soles of our feet were full of cuts and bruises, but these minor things weren’t going to deter us. The goal that lay ahead gave us extra determination to endure that which was before us.
I felt thirsty. But more than that. I felt a thirst that couldn’t be satisfied with drinking water. It burned from the inside. I didn’t like that feeling very much. But I chose not to say a word, nor let the pain show on my face. I looked at my best friend and smiled. I could tell he was struggling just as much as I did, but we were doing our best to encourage each other by staying strong.

But it burned. It ached from the inside. Something was happening. And it didn’t feel very natural. Maybe they were right. Maybe the Lotus of Life held more inside it that being just a symbol of the city. Maybe they were right to call me a fool.

---

We must have walked a good 9,000 miles by now. Every supply we had was gone. No water, no food. The clothes on our back seemed a pale shadow of what it was when we first set out. But more than that, I seemed to notice something different on the face of my friend. Something changed, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

I questioned myself. Was I leading us both to our deaths? I scanned the barren lands that were ahead. There was barely any population of any sort. No humans, no bugs, no animals, no birds. Even vegetation was scarce. But I figured we could squeeze a bit more juice out from the cacti that was 2 miles southeast of us.
I looked at my friend once more before heading out to gather cacti juice. He seemed quite foreign now. But I thought, maybe it’s just the heat getting into me. Before he was done setting up camp for the night, I had returned with fluids to rehydrate ourselves.

---

I got up early the next morning. As I always have. But I looked at my hands. They didn’t really seem like hands anymore. More bone than flesh. Yet, they didn’t seem that odd. It looked natural to me. But it just felt different.

I reached my hands out to stretch before I got up. And I looked to my right. Who was this man taking rest next to me? His face – was exactly like my hands. More bone than flesh. But it wasn’t that. I don’t remember ever seeing this person in my life. I paused.

I don’t even remember where I am or what I’m doing here anymore.

---

They say distances change things. Maybe they do. Maybe they change who we are. Maybe they change the people we once knew. And maybe they change the relationships we used to have.

Thursday, 8 March 2012

The mere illusion of freedom


I gave a light tug to the string, just to ensure that I was still in control. And then I laid down on the grassy plains to rest. The kite was gorgeous, and I loved kite-flying. As far as I can remember, I’ve always been a kite-enthusiast. I made my first kite when I was 4, but that never saw the clear blue sky. I flew my first kite when I was 10, but the string snapped, and I never saw that kite again. But here I am, 6 years later.

I guess I love kites so much because they’re such a beauty to look at, both from a distance, and up close. The way they soar in the sky, speaks so much of freedom, yet you’re still in control of it. Then it hit me – it was a mere illusion of freedom.

Then I thought to myself. Do I treat people the same way I treat kites? Do I sometimes like to draw them near when it’s convenient, and then let them fly far away when I feel like it? Do I like to give them the freedom to roam, and yet still try to manipulate their every action? Do I get rid of them by snipping the rope when it's too hard to handle the relationship anymore?

Saturday, 3 March 2012

nyeehhh-power


And I walked into the door held open for me by the smiling salesperson.

It was huge. Bigger than one could ever imagine. Cars, from every available era, every available colour, size, specs, and the whole lot.

I was mesmerized by the variety available to me. But I know, I know only have the budget for one car. As I walked through the rows and rows of cars, I came to an unfortunate conclusion – I could spend my lifetime trying to choose a car from here, but I’ll never finish looking through all of them. So I took a deep breath, and made my decision. 

Well, I suppose sometimes you’ll never get to look through all the options available before coming to a decision, but every decision made without all that information could be just as good as the decision made with.

Who knows, if I could live forever, maybe at the end of it all, I’ll look back and wondered why I wasted so much time trying to decide, but never deciding.


Maybe love’s like that. Maybe we’ll never get to travel the world to meet every person, to see which one could be the best. But just maybe, maybe the best is right in front of our eyes.

Monday, 20 February 2012

a strike, again.


“Years and years of practice…”
“This can’t be…”

I muttered those words under my breath as I analysed my bowling scores over the past ten years. I thought after scoring my all-time high of 237, I would have improved a whole lot compared to the first time I bowled – a mere 62 pins.

Then I looked closely at my scores, and the times when I’ve scored a strike. I realized, yes, I have improved, but not a lot. My average score is nothing to shout about, and my strike count is still a tad bit above chance. Consistency was nowhere to be found. If I were to make a graph out of it, it would be something similar to the stock exchange’s.

And to think, to think that I actually thought I’ve improved.

---------

I guess we often think we’re no longer that immature, tactless, childish or stupid kid that we were once upon a time. But then we start thinking back, that every year we think we aren’t that person we used to be anymore, we realize we make the same mistakes over and over again. And we question ourselves, “Why was I so stupid at that time? I should have known better.” And the vicious cycle continues. Ultimately, we realize this – we’re just a bit better than before. And there’s still so much to work on.

(The title is a play on the word strike, whereby in bowling it means a good thing; in baseball it means the opposite.)

Friday, 20 January 2012

someone like you


I sat there stunned for a moment, not knowing what had just hit me. For some reason I just tuned out from life, and was in my own little world. Then I realized - it was the weight of the words the song carried. In the middle of a busy street on a regular working day, there stood a street musician with his guitar in his hand, crying out the lyrics of the famous Adele song.

Never mind, I’ll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you.
Don’t forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead

And in my mind, I saw nothing but your face. I guess I should move on. It’s been 2 years now. There’s definitely someone out there just like you, or maybe someone better. And yes, I do wish nothing but the best for you and your current girlfriend.

But deep down I knew. I didn’t want someone better. I didn’t want someone else. I wanted you, and you alone. No one else can complete my life better than you.

And then I teared. And life still went on. The streets were still busy with movement of the corporate world. But for me, life was but a standstill.