a strike, again.

“Years and years of practice…”

“This can’t be…”

I muttered those words under my breath as I analysed my bowling scores over the past ten years. I thought after scoring my all-time high of 237, I would have improved a whole lot compared to the first time I bowled – a mere 62 pins.

Then I looked closely at my scores, and the times when I’ve scored a strike. I realized, yes, I have improved, but not a lot. My average score is nothing to shout about, and my strike count is still a tad bit above chance. Consistency was nowhere to be found. If I were to make a graph out of it, it would be something similar to the stock exchange’s.

And to think, to think that I actually thought I’ve improved.

---------

I guess we often think we’re no longer that immature, tactless, childish or stupid kid that we were once upon a time. But then we start thinking back, that every year we think we aren’t that person we used to be anymore, we realize we make the same mistakes over and over again. And we question ourselves, “Why was I so stupid at that time? I should have known better.” And the vicious cycle continues. Ultimately, we realize this – we’re just a bit better than before. And there’s still so much to work on.

(The title is a play on the word strike, whereby in bowling it means a good thing; in baseball it means the opposite.)

someone like you

I sat there stunned for a moment, not knowing what had just hit me. For some reason I just tuned out from life, and was in my own little world. Then I realized - it was the weight of the words the song carried. In the middle of a busy street on a regular working day, there stood a street musician with his guitar in his hand, crying out the lyrics of the famous Adele song.

“Never mind, I’ll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you.
Don’t forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead”

And in my mind, I saw nothing but your face. I guess I should move on. It’s been 2 years now. There’s definitely someone out there just like you, or maybe someone better. And yes, I do wish nothing but the best for you and your current girlfriend.

But deep down I knew. I didn’t want someone better. I didn’t want someone else. I wanted you, and you alone. No one else can complete my life better than you.

And then I teared. And life still went on. The streets were still busy with movement of the corporate world. But for me, life was but a standstill.

because some things are better left unsaid.

This Moment

It seems like you don't want to be here,
As though you don't want me to be heard,
You shut me out ever so subtly,
And surely, it's killing my heart slowly.

a retreat

let us run faraway,
hijack a boat and to a tropical island
where it's just you, me and a coconut tree,
we'll live as happy as we can be,
no buts, for love will make a way.

a doze of sorrow

I woke up this morning, and found you not by my side.
I then realized, how much I missed you.

I dare not

I dare not shake your hand. I fear that I may not let go as soon as your hand connects with mine.

I dare not look at your smile. I fear I might not look away from that mesmerizing beauty.

I dare not talk to you. I fear I might say stupid stuff just to listen to your beautiful voice ring in my ears.

I dare not look into your eyes. I fear I just might fall in love with you.

I dare not love you. I fear that I might try to steal my best friend’s wife.

I dare not.

the hidden image

It was tough work, but I wasn’t going to give up anytime soon. I took my pick and continued to hack away at the solid rock that stood before me. There were certain weak points, where I could easily break through, while other layers were just pushing me to give up on my work. At certain times, the hammer and chisel were more effective. Other times, the pick would serve well. But I had to be careful. If I simply hacked my way through, the rocks on top might just come tumbling down. I had to be careful of the condition of the rocks and as well as the general weather. I had to observe and take note of every single change in that which lay before me. I was adamant to get through all those layers and see what laid behind it all.

I wiped the sweat off my brow and paused for a moment. I wondered, was it really worth it all? Maybe I’ll just be disappointed with my findings. Maybe this would be time wasted. I could invest in something easier. Hmmm…

I took up my pick and gave it one hard swing towards the rocks. Suddenly everything fell apart. And I peered into the opening, my torchlight scanning around to see what I have discovered. And then I saw it. It may have been a super tough front, and it sure took me long to break down all the layers, but deep down… really deep down, she was just like every other – full of emotions, tears and laughter, a hidden past unspoken of, and a heart that still wants to be loved.

a different light

“I’ve had it! I’m sick and tired of people doing this to me!”

“Do what?”

“Every single time they come near me, they just have to step on me, put me down and hurt me so bad. Do they not notice what they’re doing? Are they oblivious? Or are they just stupid? I’ve had it with them.”

“What do you intend to do?”

“I’m gonna stand up to them all. I’m gonna show them the true me. I’m not gonna sit still and let them have their way with me!”

“Take a deep breath and calm down, sister. Maybe they never intentionally wanted to step on you. Sure, there are always those annoying folks that just step on you because they want to, or because they can. But some, never intended to hurt you. They were just on their way to their destination, and you just happened to be in their way.”

“That’s rubbish! They always want to step on me. I’m so sick and tired of it all.”

“Look around you. We are but grass of the field. People don’t aim where they thread when passing a field.”


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Harbouring bitterness isn't of any worth. Forgiveness tastes better.

a tribute to the dear old uncle

Shall I compare thee to the 23rd of November,
Thou art more long winded, and more gloomy,
Your voice as constant as the drops of rain,
Your tone changes, as the rain that grows heavy and subsides.