Saturday, 26 June 2010
I couldn’t hit the falsetto notes like Barry Gibb, and I sounded like a frog’s croaking. But that didn’t matter at all. The song spoke of my situation.
“And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.”
My heart’s bleeding faster than the doctors can mend it. I closed my eyes and pictured you once again. It hurt so much. I wept.
It’s good to see you enjoying your life, going on like nothing ever happened. Maybe I’m but a shadow in your past, meaning nothing much to you now. Have fun with your life now, don’t worry about me. I’ll suck in all my sorrows, and perhaps cry myself to sleep every night.
I dare not think of what it could have been if I had kept my emotions to myself. Maybe we could have still been together. But it’s all too late.
Sunday, 20 June 2010
The sun slowly disappeared, eaten up by the horizon to the far west. I sat on the top of the hill overlooking the town, its lights slowly coming alive as people realize the day is turning into night. I held guitar by my side. It was somewhat out of tune, but playable. In my other hand, was a beer bottle. Nothing like a cool stout to help me forget the troubles of the world. A leaf from the withering tree to the left of me fell gently, its colour bright red with a tinge of brown, towards the lake below it. As the leaf created a ripple on the calm waters, so did my guitar create a ripple on the quiet hilltop.
I thought to myself - She’s probably not worth it anymore. Why do you bother trying?
I never should have trusted my heart in fragile hands. Now it’s all shattered. The pieces of my heart could enter the eye of a needle. It’s all over.
As I played the guitar and sang my heart out, I wish I could hit the rewind button. I wish I could go back and correct all the mistakes I did. I wish I could have been a better person to you. I wish I had hold on to you much tighter, appreciating each moment we spend together.
The tears were swelling up in my eyes, but I fought to keep them back. I didn’t want to cry. Some of them fell on my guitar. I miss the days when we would lie down in the open fields, your head on my chest, our hands linked with each other as we gazed up in the skies, looking at the beautiful picture God painted with the clouds. I miss the days when we would laugh at stuff for no reason. I miss the days where you gazed into my eyes so lovingly, stealing a kiss from me every now and then.
You’re so important to me. I just never got a chance to tell you how much you meant to me, or how much you still mean to me. I never dared to say I love you. I never dared to say I care. Because I wanted it to be perfect when I did. My pride held me back from being imperfect in front of you. I wanted to be your dream man. But I came to realize, I never knew what your dream man was.
I know I hurt you a lot, and I know today, you have shut me out. But all I ask is for one more chance to make it all right. But you never gave me a chance. Your shoulder is so cold, my beer would be hot tea in comparison. When I stare at the sky, all I think about is you. But now, I’ll never get the chance to tell you how I feel.
Maybe this is it.
Maybe this is real.
Maybe this is the end.
I never thought that it would end this way, but now I realize, after that whole long period of you not in my life, I’m still back at where I stood before, when I first knew that I would always love you.
I want to still believe. How do I warm your shoulder towards me......
I realize I never post stuff in first person POV. Well, this is one attempt. Credits to Miss Tsuihsia, as most of the stuff are taken of her blog. =)